PERFECT STORY

The first thing a person should do in any relationship is to throw out the old cliché of “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” because love should mean wanting to say you're sorry. If your loved one is hurt, even if they are at fault, apologizing for your part in the fight can get you a lot farther then blaming. Honey does catch more flies than vinegar.

If you honestly feel that you are completely in the right you can still say that you are sorry for the reactions you and your mate had towards the situation. No matter what, I am sure that upsetting him or her was the last thing that you wanted to do. This does not mean to minimize your feelings in anyway only to take the focus off “who’s to blame” and put it where it belongs- on the problem at hand. Once the other person is off the defensive, it makes the issue something that you’re facing together instead of at odds. By doing this it will help the two of you to remember that you are both on the same side, with the same ultimate goal in mind- mutual happiness.

This moves us on to another old cliché that I absolutely despise- “Always fight fair”. When it comes to relationships, your main objective should be to not fight. I am not talking about a perfect fairytale where you never disagree with your significant other because fights will happen, even in the most secure of couples. I just do not understand why people prepare for a fight like they would a political debate or, worse yet, like they are going into combat. So, choose your words carefully and plan ahead of time how you can be considerate of your partner’s views, do not dismiss them.

The key to any relationship is honesty. If something is really bothering you, then by all means, say so. Before opening your mouth, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is truly what’s wrong. Make sure that you are not just turning your loneliness into something else. The biggest mistake that people make in a long distance relationship is to channel their feelings of longing for one another into a trivial matter, then end up fighting.

If the main complaint is being apart from your loved one, then tell him or her how you feel. It takes a strong independent person to have a long distance relationship and it also takes a lot of strength to admit that it is not enough anymore. If you and your partner are constantly fighting, it may be time re-evaluate and re-structure the relationship. It may only take a few more phone calls or chat sessions during the week to improve things between the two of you immensely. Maybe, using some saved up vacation time is in order. Both of you taking time off is preferable so you can renew your love. But if only one of you can skip work, still go and visit the other. (Who knows? That person may end up loving it and decide to stay.) If it’s been a truly good relationship, loneliness very rarely means an ending to it all. In fact, it can “make the heart grow fonder” as long as you stay truthful in your communications with one another.

If the distance between the two of you has become a major issue, then it may be time to talk about one of you relocating. But before starting this conversation makes sure that you have tried everything else to improve the relationship and that this kind of life altering commitment is what you truly want. Remember, it is a long distance relationship for a reason. Whether because of a job, family or a mixture of things - one of you will be giving up something that was important enough to warrant being apart in the first place.

For the estimated seven million U.S. couples currently in long distance relationships, sex and intimacy come with a whole different set of challenges. Instead of a simple “your place or mine?” you’ve got plane tickets, work schedules and much more to contend with. It’s no wonder many couples just can’t handle the distance. But if you’re stuck spending time apart there are ways to still feel close—and even keep your sex lives thriving. Check out these tips from women who kept their long distance relationships healthy and sexually satisfying.
Change It Up.
Couples stuck without the benefit of regular face-to-face contact have to find alternative ways to connect in order to keep their relationship going. For Tina Snyder, 37, starting a relationship with a man living 170 miles away meant long phone calls, frequent e-mails and a mutual commitment to open communication. “I believe our communication held us together during the first year of our relationship,” says Snyder, who recently became engaged. “We would talk for hours every night. We talked about everything: work, children, careers, our future. And we had a lot of phone sex.”
While inexpensive webcams and voice chat programs have made it easier to hear the sound of your loved one’s voice, Dr. Marianne Brandon, Co-Director of The Sexual Wellness Center in Annapolis, Md., warns that it’s not how often you communicate but how well that counts. She also advises couples not to be shy about their desires—sexual or otherwise. As long as everyone’s comfortable, phone sex, cybersex, or leaving sexy answering machine messages are all healthy ways to connect with someone who’s not around.

Get Personal.
According to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, the average couple involved in a long distance relationship lives 125 miles apart, visits each other 1.5 times per month, calls each other three times per week and, perhaps most importantly, exchanges three hand-written letters each month. In fact, studies show that couples who stayed together through their long-distance relationship wrote snail mail letters to each other twice as often as long distance couples whose relationships failed.

When Elizabeth Whitmore, 19, moved to England for a year, leaving her boyfriend in Washington, D.C., she relied on the postal service to sustain her relationship. “It was a good way to communicate because you really had to think about what you were saying,” she says. “We would write three- and four-page letters, sometimes erotic. And when he went on tour around the United States, he sent me 180 post cards. It was fun and personal.” Getting personal is exactly what keeps couples together. While generic gifts such as flowers and chocolate are nice, handmade gifts that come from the heart make a lasting impression.

Maximize Your Time.
Dealing with the distance is only half the battle; learning how to maximize what limited time you do spend together is the other half. Dr. Brandon says that when couples do reconnect, they should establish some guidelines for quality time together. “If he thinks quality time means taking her out with his friends and showing her off at a club and she thinks quality time is going to an intimate restaurant and then going to bed, there’s going to be a problem,” Brandon says.

To solve this problem, 29-year-old Mary-Beth Ellis and her boyfriend have developed an informal ritual. “The first thing we do is we hug each other, then we go to the couch and start talking,” she says. “We reconnect with each other first.”

It’s certainly not impossible to stay together when many miles separate you—it’s all a matter of keeping connected in new ways. If you’re both willing to communicate when you’re apart and reconnect when you reunite, then your relationship and your sex life will survive wonderfully.

Heal A Broken Heart

It takes time! Here are some basic tips. Make sure you also read the articles, which you can access from the side menu.

* Honor how you are feeling. This means that you should not pretend that you are ok, when you really aren't. There is nothing wrong with crying.

* Communicate with people that care about you. Make sure you share how you are feeling. Do not underestimate the support that these people can provide.

* Exercise regularly and take care of your health. Often times during the period of having one's heart broken, health may be neglected. If you aren't careful, this can only make things worse.

* Some people like to travel.

* A great way to move through a broken heart is to spend a lot of time doing something you really love. This can be a hobby, work, or anything! If you keep yourself busy you will find yourself moving through the pain faster.

Above all, give yourself time. This type of healing can't be rushed. If you want to restore the relationship, make sure that you figure out why it went wrong before you rush back into it.
Begin To Heal

There is nothing funny about having a broken heart. If you are reading this, I am sure you know that. Your stressed body will begin to accumulate all sorts of feelings on top of the depression.

Perhaps you lack positive focus and you are having trouble moving away from looking at the negative, leaving you almost completely unable to function. It is important to try to change this, as in a very direct way we experience the emotions that we focus on.

Here are a few steps to consider:

* Grieve
This is the best thing to do after your loss. Try not to avoid this step. It it best to do it immediately, or it may take you longer to heal. Do whatever you need to do to express yourself in this stage, so long as you don't hurt anyone else.

* The Plan
Healing is a journey that needs a plan. This means that you should write down some ways which (you think) will help you - right now! Think about it, and keep thinking about it.

* The Action
Once you have written down some things, make specific plans to act on them soon - and stick to it!

* Suggestions
Accept that you are responsible for your own healing, and take as much time as you need for yourself.

Take action when you are inspired.Forgive people and recognize that we take in what we focus on. This concept is recognized by some people as the law of attraction.

Do not hang around people who make you feel negative or people who complain all the time. Perform any spiritual work that feels right to you, perhaps include affirmations and visualizations. Be grateful.

Health Of Your Heart

Our hearts can be tormented and troubled. They can be squashed and pressured, both from a psychological and emotional point of view. This can be to such a point where they actually begin to result in physical health problems, thus, a broken heart can be considered quite literal. Losing someone you love can cause major problems to our hearts.

Over the course of a life time, most people (at one time or another) will experience a long trial of sadness or loss.

Much research has proven that hearts living under this pain don't just suffer emotionally, they all suffer physically. Deep feelings of depression, loneliness, and sadness can actually lead to problems like heart disease.

Researchers have found that what we all feel and the way we think directly effects the health of our heart. A study showed that people living under this pain can literally even die from a 'broken heart'. It is important to try and overcome the pain so that it doesn't drag on longer than it has to.

Consider the lessons that you have learned, and how you are smarter as a result of the experience. Think about this often, as it will help lift you and let you see some positive signs.

Find a treatment that works for you - this can be talking with those who care about you, other groups of support, perhaps something like psychotherapy or meditation. There are lots of techniques available to help heal your heart.

Get busy doing what it takes to become well!